My Christmas List
Well kids, Christmas season has hit the stores. And well, we're in America, so we celebrate by shopping. Now, I say Christmas, but I mean everything from Hannukah to Kwanzaa and everything in between. Whatever your holiday, you probably celebrate by spending. And what's better than getting gifts for no reason?... How about giving for no apparent reason. Yes my friends, this is the time where you can give your sister that third crock-pot she's been dying for. Because after all, it's the thought that counts.
Why the heck do we tell kids that? When I was a kid, that was my loophole. I did all my holiday shopping at "Everything's $1." I thought hard about every dollar I spent (especially the extra dollars I got to spend on candy for myself afterward). When you tell a kid that it's the thought that counts, their immediate thought is "sweet, I don't have to spend a lot." Well, I say if you ain't gonna spend much.... don't spend anything. And just cuz you don't spend anything doesn't mean you're giving nothing. If you're going for the "thought" thing, your gift's gotta come completely free. How do you know if it qualifies? If you can't buy it on eBay.
Here's my Christmas list (of things you can't buy on eBay)
-a kidney
-the internet
-eBay
-redemption
-other people's family photos
-a giant 40 foot spoon
-a world record
-a used roll of film
Unfortunately the following gifts are available on eBay... but they're pretty sweet
-popularity
-chocolate stapler
-the Hollywood sign
-chicken pox
-a 100 year old beehive
Happy "shopping."
Why the heck do we tell kids that? When I was a kid, that was my loophole. I did all my holiday shopping at "Everything's $1." I thought hard about every dollar I spent (especially the extra dollars I got to spend on candy for myself afterward). When you tell a kid that it's the thought that counts, their immediate thought is "sweet, I don't have to spend a lot." Well, I say if you ain't gonna spend much.... don't spend anything. And just cuz you don't spend anything doesn't mean you're giving nothing. If you're going for the "thought" thing, your gift's gotta come completely free. How do you know if it qualifies? If you can't buy it on eBay.
Here's my Christmas list (of things you can't buy on eBay)
-a kidney
-the internet
-eBay
-redemption
-other people's family photos
-a giant 40 foot spoon
-a world record
-a used roll of film
Unfortunately the following gifts are available on eBay... but they're pretty sweet
-popularity
-chocolate stapler
-the Hollywood sign
-chicken pox
-a 100 year old beehive
Happy "shopping."
posted by Captain Awesome at 8:49 PM
2 Comments:
I'll take dibs on getting you a world record. We need to start getting you in shape, pal, 'cause I think we're going to go with "Most Jumping Jacks Without Stopping While On Top of a Large Mountain."
yeah - i recall you buying me things at the dollar store. Dumb figurines that mom wouldn't let me throw away... Also, you should buy your sister her first crockpot.
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