My Four Years
Okay... I had an entire post for y'all. But it didn't belong here. It was a bit of venting and emotions and whatnot surrounding my last day of work on Friday. Four years of working for the Boys and Girls Club of Lawrence coming to a close in just a day. Long story short, my tenure is comparable to my 3-day journey through the Grand Canyon. Let me tell you a bit about the Grand Canyon.
Summer. 2004. Myself, six friends, and a 15 passenger van embark upon a road trip of wits, survival, and glory. We camped, white water rafted in Colorado, gambled in Vegas, swam icy waters in Utah, beached in Cali, and topped it off with a more than hands-on approach to the Grandest Canyon. Now, we just took what we could get with the trails. All of them were booked except one for advanced hikers, so we took it. Had any of us ever hiked before? Nope. But we had that college 'can do' mentality. We had four conditioned D-1 athletes and three able bodied other guys. It was going to be a breeze.
We arrive at our starting point at 3am after long hours of driving. Our path was to descend 8 miles to the Colorado River, camp out on the beach, 6 miles to a creek, camp out, then 7 miles back up. 21 total miles in a U-shape. However, our starting point was 6 miles from our ending point. So we arrive 3am, drop off Chris, Evan, and our packs, then drive to the ending point... and walk back. 6am: we break the surface of our descent. My pack is cutting off the circulation to my shoulders. It's obviously meant for somebody larger. Steve volunteers to switch with me. However, he was one of our conditioned athletes, his pack was a good 15 lbs heavier. I managed for a while, till my legs died on me. 10am: temperatures exceeding 100 degrees. Doesn't phase us. We get off 'trail' (not really a trail, more of a couple natural markings telling us where we kinda should be, not great markers). Adds a couple miles to the trip. Halfway down, I can barely move... gotta keep on truckin. 3pm: finally make it to the river... it's freezing. I use it to ice my ankles. Keep in mind we were descending with heavy packs on loose red rock.... it works muscles you never knew you had. Needless to say, I was doubting my ability to be able to move the next day. I have never prayed harder for help. And being able to get through day two was the greatest display of divine intervention I've ever seen. I woke up on day 2 weightless, and led the pack to our next destination. The ascent was rediculous. We got up a little before 5am to begin. Barely made it up by 4. I had to take breaks every 50 steps to wet my mouth with the couple drops I could spare from my Nalgene. In this heat, we weren't wise and only carried 2 a piece. We'd fill them at our camping spots from the river or creek. Anyhow, I'm taking small sips because I'm trying... and failing... at rationing my good old creek water. At one point I was sitting on this rock and just about passed out shortly from exhaustion. I was on my own. Some guys were ahead. Some were behind. My Nalgene was in hand. I had just taken a sip, next thing I know, I hear it roll out of my hand. It's bounce on the ground jolts me back to reality and I lunge after it to keep it from falling off my path and down the Canyon. Hours later, I'm 10 yards from the top. It'll literally take me a couple steps to get there. I stop for about a half hour to muster up enough energy to finish. But the feeling of stepping out of that canyon was amazing. I hated that canyon. I didn't even look back to see it. I swore I'd never do it again. I hated everything about it. Our ending point was a tourist destination. I stepped out into a crowd of people. I'm hunched, dragging my feet. I'm haggard, haven't bathed in days. Still wearing the same clothes I jumped in wearing. Some people applaud. Others just look in pure awe. And my mental state immediately changed. I'd hated that canyon, but I conquered it. I volunteered to drive us to this pizza joint, a mere 5 minute drive away, in Grand Canyon Village. Even then, had to give up the wheel cuz I was dozing. I will never see the Grand Canyon the same way. So much more amazement, when I look at it and respect it for how intensely 'grand' it really is.
Long story short, work has been this big mental battle. Stepping foot out of that building on Friday will be nothing short of a feat. However, the kids are the same as the canyon. I grew from getting to know it, but I made absolutely no impact on it. It's no different now than it was before I stepped foot there.
If you care to know more about that last paragraph, there's a lot more to it, feel free to ask... but it doesn't belong here.
Summer. 2004. Myself, six friends, and a 15 passenger van embark upon a road trip of wits, survival, and glory. We camped, white water rafted in Colorado, gambled in Vegas, swam icy waters in Utah, beached in Cali, and topped it off with a more than hands-on approach to the Grandest Canyon. Now, we just took what we could get with the trails. All of them were booked except one for advanced hikers, so we took it. Had any of us ever hiked before? Nope. But we had that college 'can do' mentality. We had four conditioned D-1 athletes and three able bodied other guys. It was going to be a breeze.
We arrive at our starting point at 3am after long hours of driving. Our path was to descend 8 miles to the Colorado River, camp out on the beach, 6 miles to a creek, camp out, then 7 miles back up. 21 total miles in a U-shape. However, our starting point was 6 miles from our ending point. So we arrive 3am, drop off Chris, Evan, and our packs, then drive to the ending point... and walk back. 6am: we break the surface of our descent. My pack is cutting off the circulation to my shoulders. It's obviously meant for somebody larger. Steve volunteers to switch with me. However, he was one of our conditioned athletes, his pack was a good 15 lbs heavier. I managed for a while, till my legs died on me. 10am: temperatures exceeding 100 degrees. Doesn't phase us. We get off 'trail' (not really a trail, more of a couple natural markings telling us where we kinda should be, not great markers). Adds a couple miles to the trip. Halfway down, I can barely move... gotta keep on truckin. 3pm: finally make it to the river... it's freezing. I use it to ice my ankles. Keep in mind we were descending with heavy packs on loose red rock.... it works muscles you never knew you had. Needless to say, I was doubting my ability to be able to move the next day. I have never prayed harder for help. And being able to get through day two was the greatest display of divine intervention I've ever seen. I woke up on day 2 weightless, and led the pack to our next destination. The ascent was rediculous. We got up a little before 5am to begin. Barely made it up by 4. I had to take breaks every 50 steps to wet my mouth with the couple drops I could spare from my Nalgene. In this heat, we weren't wise and only carried 2 a piece. We'd fill them at our camping spots from the river or creek. Anyhow, I'm taking small sips because I'm trying... and failing... at rationing my good old creek water. At one point I was sitting on this rock and just about passed out shortly from exhaustion. I was on my own. Some guys were ahead. Some were behind. My Nalgene was in hand. I had just taken a sip, next thing I know, I hear it roll out of my hand. It's bounce on the ground jolts me back to reality and I lunge after it to keep it from falling off my path and down the Canyon. Hours later, I'm 10 yards from the top. It'll literally take me a couple steps to get there. I stop for about a half hour to muster up enough energy to finish. But the feeling of stepping out of that canyon was amazing. I hated that canyon. I didn't even look back to see it. I swore I'd never do it again. I hated everything about it. Our ending point was a tourist destination. I stepped out into a crowd of people. I'm hunched, dragging my feet. I'm haggard, haven't bathed in days. Still wearing the same clothes I jumped in wearing. Some people applaud. Others just look in pure awe. And my mental state immediately changed. I'd hated that canyon, but I conquered it. I volunteered to drive us to this pizza joint, a mere 5 minute drive away, in Grand Canyon Village. Even then, had to give up the wheel cuz I was dozing. I will never see the Grand Canyon the same way. So much more amazement, when I look at it and respect it for how intensely 'grand' it really is.
Long story short, work has been this big mental battle. Stepping foot out of that building on Friday will be nothing short of a feat. However, the kids are the same as the canyon. I grew from getting to know it, but I made absolutely no impact on it. It's no different now than it was before I stepped foot there.
If you care to know more about that last paragraph, there's a lot more to it, feel free to ask... but it doesn't belong here.
posted by Captain Awesome at 10:57 PM
2 Comments:
well... its that time, I believe that you have finished working at the BandG Club... I know that even if it doesn't feel like it you can't be anywhere for that long and not have left a mark.
Yeah, I'm sure you left a mark, too. It's just really hard to tell sometimes.
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