Top Tens
Yeah, I realize my last post was a bit lackluster. Hopefully I can make it up to you. I was reading through Brett's blog and it occurred to me to make a list. Sure, some day I might post my top ten songs of the now, but for now you get the better list. Here it is folks:
Top 10 Songs I Can't Stand: And The Women Who Love Them (okay, not the women who love them, but possibly an explanation to my disdain)
Frankie J - More Than Words: How could Frankie do this to me? If you're going to take a timeless classic from a rock powerhouse like Extreme, you'd better not sound like a soprano possum in a blender.
Creed - My Own Prison: And every single other Creed song. I played this card (and by card I mean song) because it more accurately describes how I feel when I hear it.
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps: Does anybody else think this sounds like a song about breast cancer? I've been told they wrote the song in 15 minutes making fun of current pop music. However, it is now current pop music. That's fine if it's a joke, but they are way better than that. And they have ruined the radio for me.
P!nk - Stupid Girls: I heard this stupid song on the radio the other day, and it confirmed that I should never listen to the radio ever again. Somehow, it's currently number 9 on iTunes top downloads today. How? How? How? This song alone makes me realize why other countries hate America. Not only do we put up with crap like this on the radio, but people actually buy it. Hey, I've got a song idea. It goes something like this, "I'm sitting on my computer and writing a song. It's really dumb and I've got no talent. But guess what, you suckers'll buy it anyways if I throw in a nice beat and manage to play it on the radio. And they'll play anything these days. I win."
Kids Bop CDs: Yeah, I know this isn't a song, but the whole idea gives me nightmares. Typically, I like music until I hear my kids that I work with singing it. I don't know what it is about it, it just gets under my skin. I've had too many of my favorite songs just bludgeoned to pieces by the youth of our day. Actually, I do know what it is. Kids have the worst taste in music. If it's on the radio, on their station, they like it. If not, they hate it. I was the same way... I used to love absolutely dreadful music. So, they've got awful taste in music, they soil my songs by singing with the same dirty lips they just put on that P!nk song.
Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk: If you've ever heard of Cross Canadian Ragweed, they were passed up by the record label that thought this was a good idea for a song. Needless to say, Ragweed got the better part of the deal. Can you imagine such musical masterminds placed in the same frame of reference as this rubbish. If you've never heard the song, you don't need to. The title speaks mountains. Lesson to any country artist: please, please don't use urban terms. You can't pull it off. Especially years after the term has perished. Dear Mr. Adkins, Big & Rich nearly killed their hit by using the phrase 'bling bling,' learn from their mistakes.
Eminem - Encore Album: Save 2 or 3 tracks, this album was a waste of money. This album was just plain offensive... and I'm not talking about the content. When I say offensive, I'm talking about the effort. No matter what you think about the guy's life, his decisions, his subject matter, you have to admit that this guy has some serious talent. I have been a fan since well before his first single "Hi! My Name Is." He's clever. He's smart. And he's willing to take risks. But his latest effort was absolute drivel. There was no wit. Or, I guess his new version of wit: fart and gay jokes.... and even worse, not clever or funny. The only difference between this CD and a big fart joke is that I actually laugh at fart jokes... or admire their wit to say the least. Heck, I still laugh when somebody pulls a finger, but this just doesn't cut the mustard.
Wow, I thought I could actually get 10. I've got three left... chances are I'll hear all three when I turn the radio on in the shower. Moby nearly made the list, but techno is not music.
So, there you have it. These are the tracks that give me that feeling I had in my tummy the night I tried anchovy and cream cheese pizza.
Top 10 Songs I Can't Stand: And The Women Who Love Them (okay, not the women who love them, but possibly an explanation to my disdain)
Frankie J - More Than Words: How could Frankie do this to me? If you're going to take a timeless classic from a rock powerhouse like Extreme, you'd better not sound like a soprano possum in a blender.
Creed - My Own Prison: And every single other Creed song. I played this card (and by card I mean song) because it more accurately describes how I feel when I hear it.
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps: Does anybody else think this sounds like a song about breast cancer? I've been told they wrote the song in 15 minutes making fun of current pop music. However, it is now current pop music. That's fine if it's a joke, but they are way better than that. And they have ruined the radio for me.
P!nk - Stupid Girls: I heard this stupid song on the radio the other day, and it confirmed that I should never listen to the radio ever again. Somehow, it's currently number 9 on iTunes top downloads today. How? How? How? This song alone makes me realize why other countries hate America. Not only do we put up with crap like this on the radio, but people actually buy it. Hey, I've got a song idea. It goes something like this, "I'm sitting on my computer and writing a song. It's really dumb and I've got no talent. But guess what, you suckers'll buy it anyways if I throw in a nice beat and manage to play it on the radio. And they'll play anything these days. I win."
Kids Bop CDs: Yeah, I know this isn't a song, but the whole idea gives me nightmares. Typically, I like music until I hear my kids that I work with singing it. I don't know what it is about it, it just gets under my skin. I've had too many of my favorite songs just bludgeoned to pieces by the youth of our day. Actually, I do know what it is. Kids have the worst taste in music. If it's on the radio, on their station, they like it. If not, they hate it. I was the same way... I used to love absolutely dreadful music. So, they've got awful taste in music, they soil my songs by singing with the same dirty lips they just put on that P!nk song.
Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk: If you've ever heard of Cross Canadian Ragweed, they were passed up by the record label that thought this was a good idea for a song. Needless to say, Ragweed got the better part of the deal. Can you imagine such musical masterminds placed in the same frame of reference as this rubbish. If you've never heard the song, you don't need to. The title speaks mountains. Lesson to any country artist: please, please don't use urban terms. You can't pull it off. Especially years after the term has perished. Dear Mr. Adkins, Big & Rich nearly killed their hit by using the phrase 'bling bling,' learn from their mistakes.
Eminem - Encore Album: Save 2 or 3 tracks, this album was a waste of money. This album was just plain offensive... and I'm not talking about the content. When I say offensive, I'm talking about the effort. No matter what you think about the guy's life, his decisions, his subject matter, you have to admit that this guy has some serious talent. I have been a fan since well before his first single "Hi! My Name Is." He's clever. He's smart. And he's willing to take risks. But his latest effort was absolute drivel. There was no wit. Or, I guess his new version of wit: fart and gay jokes.... and even worse, not clever or funny. The only difference between this CD and a big fart joke is that I actually laugh at fart jokes... or admire their wit to say the least. Heck, I still laugh when somebody pulls a finger, but this just doesn't cut the mustard.
Wow, I thought I could actually get 10. I've got three left... chances are I'll hear all three when I turn the radio on in the shower. Moby nearly made the list, but techno is not music.
So, there you have it. These are the tracks that give me that feeling I had in my tummy the night I tried anchovy and cream cheese pizza.
posted by Captain Awesome at 11:08 AM
2 Comments:
Badonkadonk?
Good list! Yeah... Creed especially. Can I take you higher? Creed, I'm not taking you anywhere. You'll embarrass me. And the kid bop! Good call! It creeps me out when a bunch of 8-year-old girls are singing "Come On Over Baby" or "Oops... I Did It Again." Yes, you are that innocent... you're eight.
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