Learn about NADS

Well, you'd assume from the title that I'm gonna be talking about male genitalia. And you couldn't be more right... in a round-about way, I reckon. Actually, this has nothing at all to do with the PEN-15 club.

Have you ever liked a girl, but just didn't "like-like" her, and you wanted to hang? Would you give your three best crayons to be able to date a girl without really dating her? Do you like toast? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, or even other questions, then read on for an adventure of a lifetime (of course, if you're a girl you can exchange the word 'girl' for 'boy,' you don't have to be a switch-hitter to continue reading).

Revolutionary ideas come once in a blue moon (that's a dumb phrase unless you think about it in reference to the blue man group), and here it is. It's called NADs. It stand for Not A Dates. Here, you can have a one on one 'date' without thinking "oh she's nice, but not really my type" or worrying that she's thinking "I'm so in love with Nick right now, GOSH... He's just so freaking adorable. I just want to wrap him up in toilet paper and flush him right down my toilet of love." I mean, these thoughts can straight up ruin a great time. So, you just have a NAD. What it is, it's practice... for you both. On top of that, it's a bonding experience. You can have NADs with girls you like, it just takes away any expectations. It's saying to yourself (and preferably to her, so it works out like true NADs), "Hey, I like spending time with you... and I think I want to know you better cuz you seem totally rad. But I don't want any sort of date connotations out of this." It's a mind-set. And it works.

But here's your warning label. NADs are to be used very, very carefully. If you get your NADs in a tight spot, people can get hurt... badly. Be sure your 'partner' knows you're pulling out the NADs. Because if she/he doesn't, they can get really confused. And getting NADs dropped in your lap when you're totally not expecting 'em totally sucks. So, friends, when you have NADs, use them carefully. If you want to go out on NADs, the other person better know, or else they'll just think it's a date... possibly hoping for a second, third, marriage. And when one person wants wedding bells and the other just wants some NADs, things get a bit hairy.

Yeah, there was no double-entendre there at all.

My Four Years

Okay... I had an entire post for y'all. But it didn't belong here. It was a bit of venting and emotions and whatnot surrounding my last day of work on Friday. Four years of working for the Boys and Girls Club of Lawrence coming to a close in just a day. Long story short, my tenure is comparable to my 3-day journey through the Grand Canyon. Let me tell you a bit about the Grand Canyon.

Summer. 2004. Myself, six friends, and a 15 passenger van embark upon a road trip of wits, survival, and glory. We camped, white water rafted in Colorado, gambled in Vegas, swam icy waters in Utah, beached in Cali, and topped it off with a more than hands-on approach to the Grandest Canyon. Now, we just took what we could get with the trails. All of them were booked except one for advanced hikers, so we took it. Had any of us ever hiked before? Nope. But we had that college 'can do' mentality. We had four conditioned D-1 athletes and three able bodied other guys. It was going to be a breeze.

We arrive at our starting point at 3am after long hours of driving. Our path was to descend 8 miles to the Colorado River, camp out on the beach, 6 miles to a creek, camp out, then 7 miles back up. 21 total miles in a U-shape. However, our starting point was 6 miles from our ending point. So we arrive 3am, drop off Chris, Evan, and our packs, then drive to the ending point... and walk back. 6am: we break the surface of our descent. My pack is cutting off the circulation to my shoulders. It's obviously meant for somebody larger. Steve volunteers to switch with me. However, he was one of our conditioned athletes, his pack was a good 15 lbs heavier. I managed for a while, till my legs died on me. 10am: temperatures exceeding 100 degrees. Doesn't phase us. We get off 'trail' (not really a trail, more of a couple natural markings telling us where we kinda should be, not great markers). Adds a couple miles to the trip. Halfway down, I can barely move... gotta keep on truckin. 3pm: finally make it to the river... it's freezing. I use it to ice my ankles. Keep in mind we were descending with heavy packs on loose red rock.... it works muscles you never knew you had. Needless to say, I was doubting my ability to be able to move the next day. I have never prayed harder for help. And being able to get through day two was the greatest display of divine intervention I've ever seen. I woke up on day 2 weightless, and led the pack to our next destination. The ascent was rediculous. We got up a little before 5am to begin. Barely made it up by 4. I had to take breaks every 50 steps to wet my mouth with the couple drops I could spare from my Nalgene. In this heat, we weren't wise and only carried 2 a piece. We'd fill them at our camping spots from the river or creek. Anyhow, I'm taking small sips because I'm trying... and failing... at rationing my good old creek water. At one point I was sitting on this rock and just about passed out shortly from exhaustion. I was on my own. Some guys were ahead. Some were behind. My Nalgene was in hand. I had just taken a sip, next thing I know, I hear it roll out of my hand. It's bounce on the ground jolts me back to reality and I lunge after it to keep it from falling off my path and down the Canyon. Hours later, I'm 10 yards from the top. It'll literally take me a couple steps to get there. I stop for about a half hour to muster up enough energy to finish. But the feeling of stepping out of that canyon was amazing. I hated that canyon. I didn't even look back to see it. I swore I'd never do it again. I hated everything about it. Our ending point was a tourist destination. I stepped out into a crowd of people. I'm hunched, dragging my feet. I'm haggard, haven't bathed in days. Still wearing the same clothes I jumped in wearing. Some people applaud. Others just look in pure awe. And my mental state immediately changed. I'd hated that canyon, but I conquered it. I volunteered to drive us to this pizza joint, a mere 5 minute drive away, in Grand Canyon Village. Even then, had to give up the wheel cuz I was dozing. I will never see the Grand Canyon the same way. So much more amazement, when I look at it and respect it for how intensely 'grand' it really is.

Long story short, work has been this big mental battle. Stepping foot out of that building on Friday will be nothing short of a feat. However, the kids are the same as the canyon. I grew from getting to know it, but I made absolutely no impact on it. It's no different now than it was before I stepped foot there.

If you care to know more about that last paragraph, there's a lot more to it, feel free to ask... but it doesn't belong here.

When a man(da) loves a woman (minus the -wo)

Okay, this is totally irrelevant, but it's a thought. And what better place for irrelevant thoughts. Anyhow, it has come to my attention that I have this weird thing for Amandas. Be it a Mandy, or just plain Amanda, I seem to always end up with one. Three times in my life have I "dated" one. Most notably, a two point five year relationship with one. Not only that, but I've turned down countless Amandas. Maybe it's this weird coincidence, or I just remember the name better. Long story short, Amandas and Nicks just seem to want to happen.

I actually know this other guy Nick, and he's dating this girl Amanda. And that's just crazy.

Back to the point. Do I just like the name? And seem to treat girls with that name better? Or does having the name Amanda predispose a girl to liking me? I'll be straight with you (no pun intended... just wait, you'll see), I'm really glad there aren't dudes named Amanda.

Now to the questions at hand. I reckon I have positive experiences with the name. I've never met one I didn't like. But, perhaps there's more to this equation. Now, most people would say, "Hey Nick, how could you date a girl with the same name as a girl you were in a long-term relationship with? Wouldn't that be weird? I mean, I think it'd be weird to date a girl with the same name as a previous girlfriend, or even the same name as my mom or sister." And while I'd appreciate your logic, I'll disagree. I know the way this world works, and how I fit into it's crazy little scheme. The mere fact that I asked these very same questions years ago is why they have resurfaced over time... in the manner of it actually happening.

Back after I ended my relationship with Amanda #1, I posed the question "Could I ever date another Amanda?" Really, the same logic. I mean, there's memories associated with that name. In addition to this, I always said I could never date an Ashley (my sister's name) or Marta (mom's name, though not worried about it since she's the only Marta I've ever met). And just because I thought it, it happened. I had a short vibe with a girl named Ashley. Realized that the name has nothing to do with the memories. I actually rarely associated one Ashley with the other. In addition to that, every Amanda in my life has been incredibly different... and none really remind me of eachother. And thus... Life answered my silly little questions. So, that's kind of boring. I wish I had better news for y'all. So now I'll make something up.

All Amandas are indeed attracted to me. It's science. In a short poll I took five minutes ago, 100% of Amandas interviewed said they couldn't get enough of me and wanted to take me out to dinner at a really expensive place, so they can buy me dinner, then take me out to Illinois for mini-golf and build a drive in theater for boats just so we could take her boat to the drive in (and not in the usual way of dragging it behind a truck). I can't argue with facts.