Pricey, Kinda

Skydiving -- $150
Rocky Mountain Climbing -- $300
2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManChu -- $200+ hospital expenses
Loving Deeper -- ~$arm and a leg
Speaking Sweeter -- impossible, for me anyway
Watched an eagle as it was flying -- couldn't find one, except at the zoo. it wasn't flying. $20
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Living like I was dying... pricey.

There are some things in life money can't buy, for everything else... there's money.

Tim McGraw... this song was playing on my shower radio, only to gloomen my day. Is gloomen a word? Well, it is now. Gloomen: the opposite of brighten. In all truthiness, this song purports to motivate and fails. The problem, Tim, is that very few of us live the McGraw lifestyle. Not all of us can be married to Faith Hill (and most of us wouldn't be trying to kill ourselves if we were). In addition, there are college kids like me who just simply don't have the funds to live like I was dying. And that creates a dilemma. How am I supposed to live like I'm dying and fund my escapades at the same time. It's impossible. I say live like you were living. That way, when you have tons of money and a hot wife, you can throw away all your hard work and then live like you were dying. And at that point, you can truly be happy... because, after all, love and success are miniscule compared to the joy you'll get of throwing it all away.

So lets take Tim's lesson and tweak it for the less successful of us. For those of us who aren't rich and famous. Let's live like we were dying without going for broke. And here it is... the cost effective ways to live like you were dying...

-Ask a hobo for directions to the nearest country club
-After building it up as a fine establishment and a good place to get your fill, take a first date to the free clinic
-Show up at a crematorium with a stick and a bag of marshmallows

*more ideas will be posted later... if you've got any, I'll be happy to post 'em

Close Your Eyes and Open Your Mouth: Here Comes Dating

You know that feeling you get the day after Halloween. You just stuffed yourself rotten with Twizzlers and Reese's and Skittles and Starburst, and where are you now? Laying on the floor in a pile of wrappers, chocolate staining your mouth and fingers, reaching out for the refrigerator. Your craving: veggies. Broccoli, celery, carrots, green beans. Anything, just get them and eat them. Nothing else will suffice. And you'll stop at nothing to get it. Remember that feeling.

So, let me present to you this dilemma I had a while back. Dating: Relationship vs. Fun. The heavyweight bout. What I refer to is the end product. Should I date for the sake of building a relationship or to just have a great time. Now, I'm not saying that these formidable foes don't have anything in common. They are actually very similar in appearance. The problem, that I found out, is that they produce two very different things. And the one word that separates the two is: Expectation.

Dating is basically a game of "close your eyes and open your mouth." In more ways than one. I mean, at first you have no idea what it is you're sinking your teeth into. It can be immediately delicious, it can get better with every bite, and it can also make you feel like you're on an episode of Fear Factor. Long story short, if it tastes bad, don't try to stomach it. If it's delicious, or getting that way, the last thing you want to do is feel like you just devoured a pillowcase full of Snickers and Gummy Worms. Because it could take a while to realize if it's yummy in a frozen blueberries or a King Sized 3 Musketeers kind of way.

Sorry ladies, for comparing you to food, but you know what they say: the best way to man's heart is through his stomach.